Subtlety. Breaking It Up Gently.

Well, this is awkward. I have been suppressing the feeling for a week, but day by day small things are beginning to remind me of what we used to be. Maybe I am thankful for my partner for breaking everything gently. Maybe, both of us now are not so-so having a hard time moving on. Everyday seems like any day when we're together, on the latter part; together but feeling alone. Might as well, both parties are thankful it happened. To see other things in a different perspective. Not resisting of any temptations. Do anything with conviction to self and not for anyone. And grow old and feed maturity, apart.

It sucks when you had too much memories together. I, somehow, feel wanting to avoid everything now that we're apart. All the rendezvous. The pig outs at residence Dencio's at the innermost tables, more rice for the eyes only. Mister Kabab. Banapple's migs gallabergher. The usuals in Toho. Grilla Saturdays. Tiendesitas on Sundays. Sitting beside you, not in front of you while dining. The movie dates seating at the upper most corners, either sides. The thrifty messaging through Starbucks tissues. Dropping by 24/7 convenience stores to buy something just to fill our raging stomachs. The below 100 kph driving rule, always implemented. The sneaking ins and outs. Sleeping hands held together, wholesome. Realizing that Commonwealth and Malolos are not that far from Parañaque. Frustrations to play at least one instrument, and to sing a song properly. Someone who knows what to say to make me feel good. Thoughtful, but with humility. Always instilling respect to each other. And the list goes on.

At the end of the day, all of these are just plain memories. At the very instant we decided to break up, it goes to show that we are going to end everything between us. We have to block our communications and try our hardest not to reconnect. This isn't hard, not! I have grown my 4 years with partner, how can be that easy? Although we are not the intimate type, we have the thing that made us last for 4 years. The catch is, we lost that thing. It went somewhere else. Maybe wandering.

I am half okay, and will be okay, as most people do when they move on.